Dating violence is emotional, physical or mental abuse within the bounds of a romantic or potential relationship, according to the National Center for Victims of Crime. Sometimes, good relationships turn sour, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they are the victim of violence. There are certain things you can do to prevent dating violence in your relationship as well as with people you care about.
Talk to Someone
Some people doubt whether or not they are even in a violent dating situation and become confused by their relationship. Violence hotlines are an effective resource for getting help with your relationship and identifying possible violence or other abuse, according to the National Center for Victims of Crime. If you don’t want to talk to a stranger, find someone you trust, such as a family member, close friend or even a school counselor, and talk to them about your relationship.
It’s easier to avoid dating violence if you know the signs to look for. If you notice controlling behavior, sudden mood changes or threats of violence from your significant other, get help immediately.
Be Aware of Alcohol and Drugs
Date rape drugs are often slipped into people’s drinks, so be careful when consuming alcohol, especially in public places. Don’t accept an open drink from someone you don’t know, and control the amount of alcohol you consume. Too much can cause you to lose control of your surroundings, allowing someone else to take advantage of you.
If you feel uncomfortable, you should leave any type of dating situation at a moment’s notice. You may be hesitant to do so if you’re not prepared with a cell phone or spare change and money to call a cab. Always be prepared to leave a situation you’re not comfortable with, and have the resources on hand at all times to be able to do so.
• Physical abuse
o Hitting o Shaking
o Throwing things
o Pushing o Biting
o Using weapons
• Emotional Abuse
o Ignoring a partners feelings
o Insulting a partners beliefs or values
o Isolating a partner from others
o Telling lies o Keeping a partner from leaving
o Threatening to hurt oneself
For the target:
• Intense jealousy or possessiveness from your partner
• Change in your mood or character (depression, moodiness, tendency to be argumentative)
• Often checks in with partner
• Unexplained marks or the body (bruises, scratches, burns)
• Deferring to the partners every wish
• Often apologizing for the partners behavior
• Poor academic performance
• Isolation from friends and family
• Becomes visibly upset after phone calls or dates with partner
• Is afraid of making partner angry
• Describes being “punished” by an angry partner (through silence, humiliation, or force)
For the perpetrator:
• Gets violent when angry
• Talks disrespectfully about the partner, puts down the partner
• Brags about having total control over partner
• Dates other people but doesn't allow partner to do so
• Gets angry after phone calls or dates with partner
• Is obsessed with partner's actions
• Tries to exert control over family members
• Discusses violent behavior as normal
• Gets in fights with others, including those of the same sex
• Has criminal record of abuse
• Acts out violence toward pets or inanimate objects (for example, kicks dog or punches walls)
• Talks about getting even with others
• Blames problems on others or outside circumstances
• Believes jealousy is a sign of love
Dating violence" is a crime and means
An act, other than a defensive measure to protect oneself, by an actor that:
1. Is committed against a victim:
A. With whom the actor has or has had a dating relationship; or
B. Because of the victim's marriage to or dating relationship with an individual with whom the actor is or has been in a dating relationship or marriage; and
2. Is intended to result in physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or sexual assault or that is a threat that reasonably places the victim in fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or sexual assault.
(b) For purposes of this title, "dating relationship" means a relationship between individuals who have or have had a continuing relationship of a romantic or intimate nature. The existence of such a relationship shall be determined based on consideration of:
1. The length of the relationship;
2. The nature of the relationship; and
3. The frequency and type of interaction between the persons involved in the relationship.
(c) A casual acquaintanceship or ordinary fraternization in a business or social context does not constitute a "dating relationship" under Subsection (b).
For offenses including domestic violence and dating violence, sanctions range from warnings through expulsion. Serious and violent incidents and acts of non-consensual sexual intercourse (the policy equivalent to the crime of rape) usually result in suspension, expulsion or termination of employment. This policy can be found online.
Procedurally, when the College receives a report of sexual misconduct, gender-based violence, or other sex or gender discrimination the campus Title IX Coordinator is notified.
If the victim wishes to access local community agencies and/or law enforcement for support, the College will assist the victim in making these contacts.
Campus Police 903-675-6235
Melinda Berry the campus victim’s advocate
Dian Gard, Ph. D 903-887-0697
Julianne Davis Ph. D 903-675-7710
Bill McBride Ph. D 903-675-9570
Bonnie McBride LCSW 903-675-9570
Joan Freidman LPC 214-415-1258
Summer Allen Wilson, LCSW 903-677-4800
East Texas Crisis Center at 903-595-5591 or 800-333-0358
Contact the Campus Police at 903-675-6235 located in the Student Union building suite 103, Student Judicial office 903-675-6256 located in the Administration building suite AD127, or the Director of Human Resources 903-675-6215 located in the Administration building suite AD 214 if you need assistance with Trinity Valley Community College-related concerns, such as no-contact orders or other protective measures. The Campus Police, Director of Human Resources, and Councilor will also assist in any needed advocacy for students who wish to obtain protective or restraining orders from local authorities. The College is able to offer reasonable academic accommodations, changes to living arrangements, transportation accommodations, escorts, no contact orders, counseling services access and other supports and resources as needed by a victim.
The Title IX Coordinator will offer assistance to victims in the form of interim or long-terms measures such as opportunities for academic accommodations, changes in housing for the victim or the responding student, visa and immigration assistance, changes in working situations and other assistance as may be appropriate and available on campus or in the community (such as no contact orders, campus escorts, transportation assistance, targeted interventions, etc).
If the victim so desires, they will be connected with a counselor on- or off-campus, as well as an on-or off-campus victim’s advocate. No victim is required to take advantage of these services and resources, but the College provides them in the hopes of offering help and support without condition or qualification. A summary of rights, options, supports and procedures, in the form of this document, is provided to all victims, whether they are a student, employee, guest or visitor.
When appropriate upon receipt of notice, the Title IX Coordinator will cause a prompt, fair and impartial process to be initiated, commencing with an investigation which may lead to the imposition of sanctions, based upon a preponderance of evidence (what is more likely than not), upon a responding student or other accused individual. Procedures detailing the investigation and resolution processes of the College can be found online.
The investigation and records of the resolution conducted by the College are maintained confidentially. Information is shared internally between administrators who need to know, but a tight circle is kept. Where information must be shared to permit the investigation to move forward, the person bringing the accusation will be informed.
Privacy of the records specific to the investigation are maintained in accordance with Texas law and the federal FERPA statute. Any public release of information to comply with the open crime logs or timely warning provisions of the Clery Act will not release the names of victims or information that could easily lead to a victim’s identification. Additionally, the College maintains privacy in relation to any accommodations or protective measures afforded to a victim, except to the extent necessary to provide the accommodations and/or protective measures.
In any complaint of sexual misconduct, sexual assault, stalking, dating violence, domestic violence or other sex or gender-based discrimination covered under the federal law, Title IX, the person bringing the accusation and the responding party are entitled to the same opportunities for a support person or advisor of their choice throughout the process, including any meeting, conference, hearing or other procedural action. Once complete, the parties will be informed, in writing, of the outcome, including the finding, the sanctions (if any) and the rationale therefor. Delivery of this outcome to the parties will occur without undue delay between notifications. All parties will be informed of the College appeal processes, and their rights to exercise a request for appeal. Should any change in outcome occur prior to finalization, all parties will be timely informed in writing, and will be notified when the results of the resolution process become final.